she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
