You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
The air taste purple.
Randomize
