My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
