There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
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I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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