I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Randomize
