I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
