Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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