don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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