i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
