he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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