There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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