I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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