I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
