Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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