Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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