fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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