bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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