Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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