Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
