girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
