I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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