We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
