what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
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she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
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I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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