i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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