brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
