I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
