big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Randomize
