worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
