I heard we made out
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
