She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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