Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
