I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
i think i just lost a toe
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
