Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
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In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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