why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
