Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
