jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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