Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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