remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize