How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
