from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
