you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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