She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
not ubering you a puppy
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
