He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
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It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
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I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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