youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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