Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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