ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
