i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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