How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
