Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
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No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
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After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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