Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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