Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Randomize
