38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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