so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
