I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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