nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Soap is not a condiment
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
