At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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