that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
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you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize