I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
