Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
