Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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