I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
