there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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