I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize