even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
